By Bryan Fojtasek. April 22, 2018.
Tips for Resolving Conflict
Glucoft Wong (LCSW) shares her top five tips to help parents resolve conflict, maintain a loving relationship, and role-model effective problem-solving for children:
- Lead with empathy. Open the dialog by first letting the other person know that you see them, you get them, and you can put yourself in their shoes. Example: “I know it must be hard to leave work….”
- Give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Assume the best intentions and help yourself remember that you love each other by adding an endearment. Example: “I know you didn’t mean to team up with the kids against me, Sweetheart….”
- Remember that you’re on the same team. Deal with issues by laying all the cards on the table and looking at them together to solve a dilemma rather than digging in on opposing sides. Then problem-solve with one another. That way you both “own” the solution.
- Constructive criticism only works when your partner can do something about what happened. If the deadline for soccer signup was already missed, remedy the current situation as best as possible and talk about how to do it better next time. Blaming won’t fix anything that’s already happened.
- Anything that needs to be said can be said with kindness. Disapproval, disappointment, exasperation—all can be handled better with kindness.